post-trip #1
2012-05-17, 9:06 p.m..

In an ironic twist to my previous entry, I just had the biggest quarrel with my mum. I don't remember things being this extreme and her screams being this loud ever since those secondary-school teenage angst days. And the reason for the quarrel being? That I was being too damn nice a person to my friend. Again.

Just when I thought everything was behind us since we're back in Singapore and away from the low points of the trip she just had to bring it up again. This time, blaming me for screwing everything up and for being the one who destroyed all the fun she (and everyone) could have had during the holiday. Just because I didn't have the heart to say no to a friend. How was I supposed to? It didn't even cross my mind that that was an option. We've been friends for 16 years. 16 years. That must count for something, if not anything at all.

The most frustrating thing is that I'm not even personally very angry at her. I've known her for 16 years. Bad traits have been long buried, accepted, and even...loved. In a way. In other words, perhaps there really isn't anyone else I can blame but myself. For not knowing how to say no. Or for not being able to predict the disaster that would have happened because I didn't say no. "Best" thing is? She isn't even aware of any of these.

So here am I, moping about, shouting and sobbing like an overgrown teenage kid. Because life is full of ironies. And despite trying my best to be the nicest friend I could potentially be, or the nicest daughter I could potentially be, I probably destroyed everyone's (including my own) potential fun that could have been.

Funny how it is always the most easy-going + accommodating person that suffers the most on a trip and gets the most shit after. Now to pray that my next two destinations would be a much, much better one.

yesterday | tomorrow

missed something?

post-trip #1 - 2012-05-17
the cold weather makes me wanna pee all the time. - 2012-05-05
ive seoul run out of coldrea puns - 2012-05-05
- - 2012-05-03
i'm still bad at coming up with titles. - 2012-05-03